Holidays, etc.

Now, I grew up in an authoritarian household, and I grew up with a great deal of stress in relation to my parents and my obligations toward them.  I was afraid to disappoint them.  Consider that for a moment.  I was afraid to disappoint them.  This isn't an exaggeration.  It was often full-on fight-or-flight fear.  I don't know how I developed such strong feelings on the issue, but that's how it was. 

Lately, my parents have been sending a lot of text messages when I'm working or otherwise indisposed, and guess what?  I don't always answer them.  Sometimes I don't want to, and sometimes I can't.  Most of the time, the messages from my mom are probing and elusive, as if she's trying to provoke me into giving up information instead of initiating a real conversation.  These, too, I don't answer.  Sometimes I can't answer for a few days because reception at my house is bad and the messages don't come through.  Sometimes I answer one message, but I don't want to go back and forth for a long time.  This resulted in my mom asking if I'm still around anymore, and my dad asking if I can spend some time with my mom tomorrow.  Later, he asked if my sisters and I could buy my mom a mother's ring and so forth, mentioning Mother's Day. 
  
This may not be a popular opinion, but I don't care.  I'm going to say it anyway.

I don't like holidays.

There is a lot of pressure involved in holidays.  In this case, my rant is about Mother's Day.  The radio waves are filled with ads clamoring that they have the "perfect Mother's Day gift" and it's a great deal, and I should buy it immediately.  Guys, I'm tired.  I'm tired of scrambling to keep the house spotless for prospective buyers, working odd hours, barely seeing my husband, and bills, oh, the bills.  Instead of inquiring how my life is going and holding a decent conversation, my dad says we should buy my mom a ring, and my mom demands my attention whether I am able to give it or not.  When the answer is "not", she goes to my dad, and he tries to step in. 

At the age of 25, I realized the phenomenal idea that I was capable of living my own life and making my own decisions.  The intervening years have been the best of my life.  I have systematically chosen to lived in peace and quiet with my equally peace-loving husband, and we are content.  I have learned how I want to be treated, and I have learned that I prefer direct, simple communication.  I have told my parents that they should call me on my house phone if they want to talk, since that is the best way to ensure that I am available and that the call won't be dropped by my bad cell service.  I explained that I work odd hours and that this doesn't facilitate a lot of texting back and forth, and reiterated that the phone is a better option.  They haven't called that phone once.