Sometimes It Helps To Write It Down

I prefer to move past the unpleasant events in life, but this is not possible in my current situation because I'm right in the middle of it.  Due to the infrequent, but irritating, interactions with my official supervisor, I often end up angry and frustrated.  See, I hate not knowing where I stand.  I hate that they decided to stop calling me in for work, and that they did this without any explanation except for a vague budgetary reference.  Due to the fact that I can't quite let it go, I once again rehashed the events that led up to the change in my work schedule with the goal of understanding the probable motivations of the people who ousted me. It's amazing how it can help if you consolidate your thoughts and write them down.   I can never be 100% certain, but I believe I have figured out what probably happened. 

I think it started as soon as I was hired.  One of the two permanent staff that interviewed me appeared to be unsure of me.  He agreed that I was the most qualified candidate by far, but he always seemed wary toward me.  He was also condescending, and frequently asked other staff members how I was "behaving," as though I were 8 years old.

While his general attitude was a bit strange, there were specific instances that seemed very odd.  On one occasion, I was speaking to him in a parking lot and he cut me off in mid-sentence and went into a building.  On a different occasion, I asked to be shown how to use a feature of the voicemail system, as well as the calendar proxy, as these are vital parts of my job.  I was accustomed to Outlook, and our system was different, so I needed help.  The supervisor wanted to be able to look at calendars and see who was available.  I followed the steps as the fellow instructed, then thought nothing of it.  A month later, during a meeting, the supervisor noted that he could not access my calendar, and he was not pleased.  I explained that I had followed all of the steps that I had been told to take, and the supervisor had to personally walk me through the process to set it up.

Around the same time, a new reporting system was implemented.  Our reporting obligation went from one report per month to a minimum of six.  It required us to keep a detailed record of each activity and to section it off according to the appropriate budget code.  Now, we had already been keeping track of this to a certain extent.  It was necessary for our timesheets.  However, this was even more specific.  If we were answering phones, we had to detail how many people they spoke to, and which subcategory they belonged to.  I received the report format at the beginning of September with the instructions that I should turn in my reports at the end of the month to the permanent staff, who would then edit them and pass them onto the supervisor.  I did this.  Well, a couple of weeks into October, the supervisor informed me that he hadn't received my September reports.  Again, I did as I was instructed by the same staff person, and ended up looking bad in front of the supervisor.

There were also times when he would say or do things that seemed inappropriate.  When talking about a certain job designation within the organization, he remarked that you were pretty much guaranteed to get the job if you had tits.  Now, the overwhelming majority of people in this designation are male.  He had tried for some years to get hired there, but no one had ever hired him.  I'd hazard a guess that it was an issue of sour grapes more than anything else.  On a different occasion, I was sitting in the driver's seat in a truck and he leaned across my lap from the outside of the vehicle before I had a chance to get out, saying that he was inappropriately reaching for the radio.  It was a little funny, but it was also uncomfortable.


When the supervisor decided that the people in my designation needed to be thinned out, they told me that it was due to budget and too little work for too many people.  Even the ones that consistently screwed up, made embarrassing mistakes, misrepresented the organization, and looked disheveled when working with the public are still working, because they like them better. 

He had mentioned that some of the other units needed some help.  When I asked about the work, he gave me very vague answers.  Finally, he told me that a unit needed full-time help.  I looked into it and found that it was three hours away from my house.  I pointed out how impractical this was, and he said, "Yeah, but you could stay somewhere down there, then come back home when your work week is up.  It'll be great.  It's only about an hour and fifteen from here."  I countered that no, it wasn't.  It was two hours and fifteen minutes, and my house is forty-five minutes from the office.  He made another vague reference to staying down there and coming home on the weekends.  I asked about a unit next to the office that needed some help, and he didn't respond. 

Of course, it also factors in that the female person that I mentioned in a previous post is dating the permanent staffer in question.  He naturally would not choose to cut the hours for his girlfriend, so I guess there's that. 

It doesn't make any difference in the ultimate outcome.  I'm still picking up work from other areas, and things are fine when I am available.  I can't help but question the mentality and motivation when someone treats their staff the way I have been treated, but they refuse to be straight with me.  At any rate, those two are the only people in the organization that act strangely toward me or seem to have any problem with me.  Everyone else is pleased with my work, and they behave civilly, if not friendly.  It's important to focus on that, because I can't do anything with people to take a notion to be negative for no apparent reason.